In addition to our live guest today, I discussed a recent
article in the newspaper about two elementary school girls from Long Beach, Ca.
Apparently, they got into an altercation and although there was no evidence of
anyone being knocked to the ground, the 10 year old died six hours later at a
local hospital from a blood clot to the brain. The family of young Joanna Ramos
is left to mourn and grieve the senseless loss of their precious child at the
hands of an 11 year old classmate. Babies – two young girls not old enough to date
or drive: one dead, the other facing a life of guilt and remorse for committing
a senseless act of violence against another human being. In one brief moment,
two family’s lives were changed forever.
As a child, my parents had two opposing philosophies about
fighting. My mom taught me to always walk away. My dad said, “Never start a
fight but if someone hits you, hit them back.” My mom’s voice resonated louder in my head. And I thank God for that.
As an adult, I have come to treasure the wisdom in her
words. To stay and fight puts me at risk for being injured or causing injury to
another (and of course, there’s always the unexpected tragedy of death). Is it
ever worth taking that kind of risk to defend my honor, prove my “rightness”,
convince the other of my fearlessness? Apparently my mom didn’t think so and
neither do I. Contrary to some popular beliefs, removing oneself from a verbal
or physical altercation is not a sign of cowardice. It is, in reality, a sign
of great courage. One is never certain how others will perceive their unwillingness
to fight, so to exit is a statement of confidence. “I am comfortable with
whatever you choose to think of me because my opinion of myself outweighs
yours.”
It is also an indication of self love: “I care more about my
safety than what others may think should I leave;” a sign of intelligence: “to
stay and fight could cause serious bodily harm to one of both of us and makes
no sense”; and lastly, it shows great respect for all human life. “I have no
desire to hurt you. No one, regardless of how immature, arrogant or mean
spirited they are behaving, deserves to be hurt. All individuals deserve to be
respected.”
How tragic that two young lives and their families are
forever altered. Had each child been taught and practiced walking away another
senseless death could have been prevented. Parents and adults: we all need to
be examples for our children. Courage, confidence, self love, mutual respect: live it and teach it.
Remember: one bad decision can change your life forever.
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