The
purpose of communication is so individuals can freely share their ideas,
feelings, thoughts, and needs with one another as a means of better
understanding themselves and the situation at hand. However it can present a
unique set of challenges for several reasons: 1) As children we are not
typically taught how to communicate - we are taught to talk, big difference. 2) Everyone has their unique style and level
of speaking that is comfortable for them yet may be challenging for others to
relate to. 3) We speak differently to our families than those we work with, our
friends, or strangers. Being masterful in one area does not necessarily
translate to others.
Inspired
communication differs from the norm in that it is based on Biblical teachings.
"In-spire"- in spirit. Inspired communication emanates from a place
of spirit, expressing love, kindness, and concern for all parties. Ego-centered communication, which is most
commonly practiced, concerns itself with the self first and foremost. When
others don't feel valued or validated the entire process breaks down. The
inability to clearly express oneself coupled with the failure to fully
understand the other party's position can be exacerbating. Frustration, a root
cause of anger, causes tempers to flare and converts a simple conversation into
a heated argument.
However,
choosing to speak from a Scriptural perspective offers a much more respectful
and fruitful interaction. While most people support being honest with one
another, too often they fail to take into consideration the other person's
feelings when doing so. Listen to what James has to say in Chapter 1: 26
"If you think you are being religious (spiritual) but cannot control your
tongue you are fooling yourself and everything you do is useless." Whatever
comes to mind, no matter how hurtful or rude it may be, people feel justified
in saying it and then try to validate their hurtful verbiage with such
statements as "If you can't handle the truth oh well. That's not my
problem. I'm not going to sugar-coat anything." Some mistakenly believe
they are providing a valuable service by speaking bluntly. In Psalms 17:3
"I have made up my mind never to lie." Being truthful is admirable but
be kind as well.
Consider
what the Bible recommends when speaking with others. From Ephesians 4: 29 "Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building
up others according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen."
"Only what is helpful for building up others": helpful, thoughtful,
intended to raise one up to a higher level, not belittle them. This can only be
accomplished when one excludes ego from the conversation and chooses a
spirit-based response.
From
Psalms 141:3 "Help me to guard my words whenever I say something."
There are multiple ways to express the same thought. "You're a lazy
worthless piece of garbage" can be more thoughtfully expressed by saying
"I don't feel you are working up to
your full potential and that's not ok."
Before
expressing yourself ask this question to gauge if your anticipated commentary
is the best choice: "Would I say this to God?" If the answer is no,
then rephrase your remarks. For in fact, you are speaking to an extension of
God, one who is expressed in human form.
Being
an inspired communicator isn't difficult. In fact, in the long run it is the easiest
and most efficient method for there are no hurt feelings, offended people,
damaged relationships, or harmful consequences. Therefore, whenever you speak, let every word spoken be tempered with Love.
Psalms
141:3: “Help me to guard my words whenever I say something.”
Psalms
140:3: “Their words bite deep like poison on the fangs of a snake.”
Proverbs
21:23: “Watching what you say can save you a lot of trouble.”
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