Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Anger: How Much is Too Much?



Jesus got angry. He was troubled by the many injustices he encountered while on Earth. At times, he expressed his dismay to those around Him. Anger, as with all emotions, has a place and purpose.  But how does one know if there is too much anger in their lives? Here are ten warning signs to gauge if your anger levels exceed what is considered safe and healthy:

1. Frequency: how often do  you get angry? Rarely, every day, several times a day, or are you always upset? One who flies off the handle at the drop of a hat needs to get to the root of their issues.
2. Intensity: do you find yourself primarily mildly annoyed, angry or do you express full blown rage? Mild anger is easily remedied without causing significant damage. Intense anger or rage can prove extremely detrimental to one's safety and well-being.
3. Duration: does your anger dissipate momentarily, do you  struggle to let it go, or are you someone who holds on to it indefinitely, possibly even seeking revenge? The longer the anger remains the greater the damage.
4. Aggression: does your anger lead to aggressive outbursts of a physical or verbal nature? This can have devastating consequences on the individual as well as those around them. One out of control moment can lead to a lifetime of suffering.
5. Relationships: are your intimate, personal, social, and/or professional relationships being negatively impacted by your anger? Are you fighting with family and/or friends or having problems getting along with coworkers? Don't blame them! This red flag is a serious indicator of deep rooted issues and needs immediate attention.
6. Outsiders: how are those around you being affected by your anger? Are people afraid of you or do they avoid you for fear of triggering an outburst? We often learn the most about ourselves by carefully observing how our actions impact others.
7. Health: is your physical well-being being affected by your anger? Even repressed anger can lead to health issues ranging from mild stomach upset, to elevated blood pressure, to cancer and beyond. Listen to your body - it is a messenger for your emotional self.
8. Law: has your anger gotten you in trouble with the law? Have you been arrested for a physical altercation or for damaging personal property? Major red flag - one bad choice can change your life forever.
9. Joy: how is your anger impacting your overall enjoyment of life? Are you agitated, miserable, unhappy or simply unable to fully embrace life? Remember - you were created to be joyful and happy. You deserve so much better but only you are responsible for your life.
10. Others: what do your friends, family, and coworkers say about you? Do they believe you have a problem with anger? People act as mirrors: they reflect back to us what we do not recognize in ourselves. Pay close attention to what others have to say. They can prove to be your greatest allies.

No one is suggesting that you never be angry. Even the Son of God got ticked off. But keep in mind: anger is a choice. No one makes you angry. How frequently you experience it, how long you hold on to it, the manner in which you express it, process it, and/or heal it is entirely in your hands. Choose wisely because anger can be your ally or your worst nightmare. Pleasant dreams. 

Please take a moment and fill out the worksheet below. It will offer great insights into your anger and enable you to recognize any areas that need your attention. Remember: the ultimate goal in life is to always operate from a place of inner peace and calm.
 
AFID ASSESSMENT WORKSHEET

The AFID Worksheet: Create four columns and label each: Anger, Frequency, Intensity, Duration
On a sheet of paper, make four vertical columns. In the first (labeled Anger), write down ten things that  you get angry about, listing the most important one first and the least bothersome at number 10.
In the next column (Frequency), using the letters A-D, list the rate that you experience anger for each of the issues mentioned:  A = rarely, B = several times a month, C = weekly, D = once a day, E = several times daily.
Proceed to the next column (Intensity). Do the same: A = mildly annoyed, B = anger, C = intense anger, D = full blown rage.
Finally, in column number four, (Duration) list how long the anger lasts in each situation: A = a brief moment, B = several moments, C - all day, D = longer than twenty-four hours.
Begin with the first three items listed under Anger. Those with rankings of C, D, or E's need immediate attention in the corresponding areas. Those rated A or B are less troublesome and may be addressed at a later date if necessary.

Here's an example: 

Anger                              Frequency            Intensity            Duration
People criticizing me             E                        C                        B
When my kids fight               E                         C                        D
Telemarketers                       D                         A                        A
Interfering in-laws                 C                         B                        B

As you can see, those that rate a "C" and higher are cause for immediate action. They are either happening more frequently (depleting our tolerance levels), are more intense (increasing the possibility we may mishandle our anger) or last a longer than what is deemed safe or healthy (impeding our sense of overall well-being and possibly negatively impacting our physical health as well). Utilizing techniques found in my book, The Secret Side of Anger, you can successfully identify the root cause of each and apply the corresponding techniques to help alleviate them.
Wishing you get insight, success, and inner peace.  ~ Janet

Order  The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
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