According to psychologist
Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an
emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's
accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you
get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure elevate, as does the level of
energy hormones adrenalin and noradrenalin." Anger can be triggered by thousands of
external events but in reality, every feeling we have is the direct result of
our thought process. Therefore, whatever thoughts you are formulating about the
event you are witnessing or experiencing actually leads to feelings of anger.
For example, a driver cuts me off on the highway. I can say to myself (my thoughts),
"This guy's an idiot!" and trigger feelings of rage (intense anger).
Or, I can choose to express relief that I was able to avoid a collision.
"Thank God I have quick reflexes!", thus producing feelings of
gratitude and good fortune.
Nationally renowned
speaker Israel Kalman, MS, offers further insight into anger and defines it as
an emotional drive to defeat anyone or anything that we perceive as a threat. In
this regard, anger alerts us to the fact that we, or someone or something else,
is perceived to be in danger. Adrenalin and noradrenalin prepare us for the
flight or fight mode as a means to restore our safety.
Whenever anger
arises, we have several options available to us as to how to handle it. First
and foremost, we can train ourselves to monitor our thoughts, thus choosing
those that produce the most advantageous emotions. I can teach myself to see
the goodness and benefits of whatever enters my life as opposed to always
seeking the negative. While this may not work 100% of the time, it can become
our default method of experiencing life.
Secondly, we can
choose to control anger in the moment. This can prove beneficial under certain
circumstances where remaining calm is more advantageous than an immediate
expression of our outrage. In a recent incident, a woman was on the verge of
being raped. Her husband, naturally enraged, attacked the assailant in an
effort to protect his wife. However, his
rage was overpowering and he eventually killed the attacker. Now facing
manslaughter charges, had he momentarily controlled his rage, he most likely
could have avoided such devastating consequences.
Thirdly, once the
anger has manifest, we can choose to safely express it verbally or choose
benign ways of expending it, such as through physical activity. Readjusting our
expectations, forgiving those who have offended us, accepting that which we
have no control over in life, appreciating every person and event that enters
our life as a necessary part of our journey, and prayer are just some of the
techniques that help alleviate anger in any of its stages.
In conclusion,
remember that anger is an emotion and like all other emotions is neither good
or bad, right or wrong. It’s what we do with our anger and how we manage it
that makes it a motivating force for positive change or a destructive one that
creates additions problems in our lives.
Remember the
formula called T~E~C~O Magic: your Thoughts create your Emotions
which cause you to make certain Choices.
And everything we say or do has an Outcome. If you are not happy
with the results of how you handled your anger, change your thought process and everything that
follows will change as well. Negative thoughts ultimately produce negative
results; positive = positive.
Order The
Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @
http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://ow.ly/OADTf
Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK
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A special thanks to my guest, Bob Ciampi, LCSW. Find Bob
@ www.rciampi.com.
Bob runs a General Psychotherapy group in Montclair,
NJ. Call (973) 865.5012 for details.
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