I frequently receive emails from people upset about
something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and
complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing
according to their standards. Some of the most frequent complaints I hear are:
Lying - this ranks as one of the top pet peeves for most of
my clients. Those who deliberately mislead or withhold truthful information
with the sole intent of harming another, protecting themselves or creating
drama in your life. While some like the delusional sense of power associated
with lying, not all misinformation is an actual fib. Sometimes, people share
information they believe to be true for a variety of reasons. Either way, one
must confront a deliberate untruth, ask questions to gain a deeper
understanding of what really transpired, take into consideration the nature of
the one relaying the information, and ultimately draw their own conclusions.
Hypocrites - those who talk and good talk but fail to live
up to their own standards of excellence. Based in feelings of insecurity,
hypocrites feel they must project a certain image in order to be admired,
loved, or accepted by their peers. Many live in denial of the truth about
themselves because facing it is too painful or frightening. Being transparent
about your own imperfections helps them to feel more comfortable opening up
about their own. Whether or not they are ready to face their own insecurities,
it can prove beneficial to call them on their pretense and encourage them to be
more truthful. Whatever the case, refrain from judging them. They are
struggling with their own personal demons.
Unfairness - wherever did we come up with the notion that life
is supposed to be fair? It isn't. If I do
good I'll be rewarded. If I'm kind people will like me. If I work hard I'll get
ahead in life. No one is exempt from injustice and unfairness. We learn
nothing from a life that is balanced and just. Inequity teaches us valuable
lessons such as forgiveness, determination and fortitude, assertiveness, and
much more. The concept of justice is irrational because we are a world of
imperfect, troubled people making decisions that impact others. By that very
fact alone, life cannot and never will be fair and balanced. Acceptance of that
simple reality can alleviate a lot of frustration and anger associated with
life's inequalities.
Pet peeves can seriously impact the quality of our lives.
Here are some tips to lessen the effect they have:
1. Each of us is struggling with personal issues and
unresolved agendas. Be understanding and compassionate.
2. Not everyone realizes they are lying, being hypocritical,
or unjust. Don't be afraid to bring this awareness to them. Do so in a firm but
gentle way.
3. Being transparent about your own issues allows others to
feel more comfortable in your presence thereby encouraging them to open up
about their own insecurities. Treat their act of trust with tender care.
4. Take everything the person says with a grain of salt. To
know the truth, one must often research independently from multiple sources in
order to obtain it.
5. Life may not be fair but I must be. It is what God
expects of me and will serve me well in all of my endeavors.
Keep in mind that all that occurs in life has a higher
purpose. Whether it appears in the form of lies, hypocrisy, or injustice each
life experience is here to benefit us and those around us. This one simple
truth will alleviate the anger associated with each of the preceding scenarios. No need to get upset over that
which is here for our own benefit.
My recommendation? If you want a pet, get a dog. Let go of
the peeves. You'll be much happier. Trust me.
To order a copy of The Secret Side of Anger or The Great
Truth visit http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
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