If you have issues with anger or are dealing with someone who does, this is the place to come to for understanding and tips.
If you argue or fight, now you can learn how to resolve your differences peacefully and permanently.
Dealing with a difficult person? I can show you how to calm them down and gain their cooperation.
It's all quite simple, really.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Ford Escape, F150 or Bulldozer?
Conflict resolution is not a pleasant experience for most
people, in part because we are ill-equip with the proper skills to achieve a relatively
satisfying outcome. For many arguing, fighting, and anger are synonymous with conflict.
Yet in reality, conflict is nothing more than two forces in opposition with
each other - a difference of opinion, opposing ideas, dissimilar feelings.
Disagreements can actually lend themselves to a spirited discussion, a chance
to learn something new, and a deeper understanding of the other party. However,
resolution – the ability to find a mutually agreeable solution - is an art.
Generally people fall into one of several styles of “resolvers”:
The Escapes tend to flee the scene. Uncomfortable
with any sort of confrontation, they seek to avoid at all costs. Their behavior
is rooted in fear and insecurity. They
lack confidence in their ability to handle a potentially tricky situation so
the most viable option is a speedy exit.
The Bulldozers are aggressive and hostile. Like their
namesake, they plow through everything in their path causing devastation and
damage. Ruthless, hurtful, selfish, and self-centered, their only concern is
their own well-being. Again rooted in fear, they feel their opponent does not
have their best interest at heart so they must fight and intimidate to ensure
their own personal interests.
The F150’s are strong and confident. “Built tough”,
they exude kindness, strength, determination and respect for all concerned.
Their behavior is deeply rooted in fairness and justice for each party. They
refrain from blame, are quick to identify the issue and immediately seek a
speedy and balanced resolution. Respect dictates their every choice.
Before beginning the process of conflict resolution, keep
the following in mind:
1.Remember to attack the problem not the person.
2.Find a commonality to bond and unite both
parties. This helps to reassures each person that the other understands them
and has their best interest at heart.
3.Approach as allies not adversaries. Show your
concern for the other upfront.
4.Choose a neutral location to discuss the issue.
If not, one party will have the upper hand which may put the other on the
5.Know when to stop and take a break. Unless it’s
an issue of life or death, nothing must be resolved at that precise moment.
Remember, you can choose to be a
part of the problem or the solution. Put your time, energy, and expertise into
finding a mutually beneficial solution. Both sides will appreciate your
Share your thoughts.
For more, read “Built Tough?” @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-newsletter.html#tough