There is a over abundance of books, articles, and blogs
written on the subject of gratitude but did you know that being grateful is
actually an antidote to anger?
Gratitude is a conscious state of appreciation, the ability
to feel good in the midst of difficulties and disappointments, and maintaining
a positive mind frame even in a negative world. But it is more than simply a
positive attitude or sense of appreciation. It is also the ability to find
value in everything - even and especially the hardships, betrayals, failures,
injustices, losses, and tragedy. It has no relation to economic status,
location, who is or is not in your life, or to what is occurring. It is a
lifestyle choice, a permanent way of living, a chosen state of being. And it is
something anyone can acquire.
Gratitude is a transformative power. It can convert a time
of hardship and sadness into one of hope and joy. Typically when something
unfortunate or bad happens we focus on the negative aspect of the event.
"I lost my job. I can't pay my bills." "My boyfriend broke up
with me. I'm all alone." Focusing on the negative evokes feelings of
helplessness, hopelessness, fear, rejection, hurt, anger, etc. Left unchecked,
this can propel us into a downward spiral leading to resentment, thoughts of
revenge or self-pity. However, when one consciously chooses to find the treasures in the trash, as I like to
refer to them, then they choose to see the blessings and opportunities.
"Now I'm free to pursue a new career. Thanks goodness I can collect
unemployment in the interim." "This relationship has taught me a lot
which I can apply to make my next one an even better one." See how easy
that is? While it takes discipline initially, in time a grateful mindset
becomes second nature.
The human mind can only experience one emotion at a time.
Anger focuses on lack, what's missing, unfair, or wrong. Gratitude sees the
possibilities, the lessons, the value and purpose.
Here are six tips to help you become a more grateful person:
1. Keep a gratitude journal. Every day for thirty
consecutive days, list ten unique things you are grateful for. No duplicates.
2. Make a public commitment to be more grateful. Tell your
friends, family, and social media connections. Post your successes. This will
help to hold you accountable.
3. Change your self-talk. Keep it positive. Tell yourself
how much you appreciate every small detail of your life.
4. Reframe any negative situation into a positive one.
Actively seek the good within.
5. Take notice of everything good you see in everyone you encounter. Make certain to
let them know how much you appreciate who they are and what they've done. Not
only will this transform you but it will impact them and your relationship with
them as well.*Bring out the best in others, always.
6. Recite daily prayers of gratitude. I begin each day with
the following prayer: "Dear God,
thank you for everything you have given
me, for everything you have taken away from me, for everything you have left me
and for everything that is yet to come. Amen." This serves as a
reminder to live in a state of appreciation each and every moment of the day.
Anger or gratitude - each is a personal choice. One creates
misery and suffering, the other joy and happiness. But you can't have both. Life
is easier and far more enjoyable when
living in a state of appreciation. The choice is yours.
*This one simple shift completely transformed my marriage. Rather
than be resentful over what was "lacking" in my husband, I followed God's
instruction and sought every reason to appreciate the wonderful man my husband
is. I also repeatedly expressed my gratitude to him each and every day. The more
he felt appreciated and valued by me, the happier he was and the more he wanted
to contribute to our relationship. Eighteen years later we are happier than
ever before and our marriage is a warm, comfortable, and safe place for both of
us.
To order a copy of The Secret
Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth visit
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