We've all experienced moments when we, or someone around us,
over reacts to an incident. Your husband
forgets to pick up the dry cleaning on his way home from work and you blow up
at him. You neglect to use your turn signal when exiting the highway and the
driver behind you blasts his horn repeatedly. While anger is a normal response
to what does not go according to our beliefs or desires, there are levels that
are deemed reasonable and those that far exceed what is considered healthy. When this occurs, there are underlying issues
spurring the exaggerated response.
Disproportionate anger is comparable to a shelf where one
places more objects than the lumber is designed to hold. Each item, in and of
itself, is manageable. However, the final object (although light in comparison
to the others) is the preverbal straw that breaks the camel's back. Seemingly
minor incidents of anger that are left unresolved can result in any one occurrence
causing an explosion of emotion.
Distractive anger seeks to divert the attention off the one
who is misbehaving by projecting it on to the other person, thereby avoiding
having to be held accountable for their issues and inappropriate actions. This
can be accomplished by making false accusations, recalling a separate issue
where the other party acted in an unbecoming manner, changing the topic to
something unrelated or several other methods.
In either scenario, it is critical to be aware of what is
transpiring so that one may uncover and resolve the real issues. Here are a few
tips to practice to help you accomplish this:
1. If you are over reacting, take a step back and re examine
the situation. Ask yourself if your feelings are fair and reasonable based on what
is occurring. If not, seek to uncover what other issues you may be harboring that
have not yet been resolved.
2. Put everything into the proper perspective. How serious
is this issue really? Will it even
matter in ten years?
3. If the other party is trying to distract you from the
real issue, set boundaries. Be firm. Keep them on point. If they refuse to
address the actual issue, cease the discussion immediately.
4. Be fair to all parties concerned. If you're actions are
or have the potential to harm anyone, reconsider your choices. Take into
account how your behavior and choices will affect you and all those concerned
now and in the future.
Once unleashed, anger cannot be retracted and in its wake it
causes devastation for many. Think first - there are healthier options
available.
For more, read "What Were They Thinking?" @
http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-newsletter.html#thinking
Order your copy of The Secret Side of Anger and The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
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